things life is too short for:
- hating yourself
- pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements
- not singing along to your favorite songs
- waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool
- bad coffee
- bad books
- mean people
- body shaming
- letting other people dictate your life
windows phone is so cute. look at how the face changes when you get messages
"aw you don’t have any messages, it’s okay you’re still special"
"oh shit you got a message you hella speical"
"holy fuck cheese on a ball you hella popular better answer these people"
So my friend works in the sound booth at his church and during the sermon, the preacher started bashing on gay people, so my friend muted him. Literally muted his preachers microphone I
one time i was eating some chips and salsa with my mom and it was really spicy so i went “i feel like a dragon” because my mouth was fucking on fire and my mom just casually says “you only want to be a dragon so you can have that hiccup boy ride you”
it took her a few moments to realize her mistake
She knows you well
Me: my anaconda don't want to go to school tomorrow
who decided being gay wasn’t manly? gay sex is technically twice as manly, you are literally doubling the amount of men in it